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DragonslayerIn the land of Pyrûn, an exporter of leadDragonslayer by Bullet-Magnet
Ruled by a king (who’s extremely inbred)
Homeland of giants, but the giants are dead
So the towns are beset by a dragon instead
You can only burn down and eat all a man’s stuff
So many times before he’ll say, “Enough!
It’s time for the dragon to see that we’re tough,
Our knight will extinguish that piteous Puff!”
So out rode their champion, in gleaming steel armour
Bearing his shield with its heraldic llama
To be the right hand of the force they call Karma
(At this point it’s safe to assume there’ll be drama)
Up the Mountain of Dread, it’s Obsidian Stair
He choked on the poison of fresh alpine air
As he approached the black Cave of Despair:
The prime real estate of the great dragon’s lair
“Hark, scaly one! Beast of fire, come forth!”
Challenged the knight from the back of his horse
“You raze all our homes and you show no remorse
So our judgement upon you I
TweedlingTweedledum and TweedledeeTweedling by Bullet-Magnet
They are all that's left, you see
This is why they are (in rhyme)
The final clones of Tweedleprime
Tweedle-if and Tweedle-or
Ran afoul of wild boar
Tweedledon't and Tweedledo
They fell ill with bucket-flu
Tweedlethis and Tweedlethat
Eaten by the Cheshire Cat
Tweedleda and Tweedleniet
They played Wonderland roulette
Tweedleblow and Tweedlebreeze
Each contracted mime disease
Tweedleslow and Tweedlequick
Kitchen with the candlestick
Tweedleflash and Tweedlejava
Lost their lives in molten lava
Tweedlesheer and Tweedleskid
"Will it blend?" They sure did.
Tweedlehigh and Tweedlelow
Snapped up by the Monstrous Crow
Tweedlepaul and Tweedlegeorge
Fell into a daisy forge
Tweedlejohn and Tweedleringo
Savaged by a happy dingo
Tweedlewitch and Tweedlewizard
Could not combat Bill the Lizard
Tweedleherp and Tweedlederp
Poisoned by a giant's burp
And not forgetting Tweedleprime
Who swallowed whole a caustic lime
Which just leaves Dum and little Dee
An oversight, you will agre
Jug o'rumDown in the bayou,Jug o'rum by Bullet-Magnet
The trematodes teem.
A polliwog hatched,
A polliwog matured,
Deep inside his limb bud,
A tissue fluke secured.
He crawled out of the river,
And now we see his plight:
For there's two feet on his left side,
While three grow from the right.
It's Banjo! The greater-spotted bullfrog with five legs.
Down in the tributary,
Plus one freak.
With so many parasites,
It's not a way to live.
They get in all the tricky spots
With diseases they're eager to give.
The frog had one conclusion:
A new home must be sought!
But the journey would be perilous
And with many dangers fraught.
He found a little rivulet
Outside a chemical plant.
Such a place is bounteous
With many "gifts" to grant.
For every other worm he ate
And every green slug grim,
Would cause him cramps and with a splot
He'd sprout an extra limb.
Poor Banjo! The greater-spotted bullfrog with eighteen legs.
So he hopped and he flopped
To the f
Guild of Calamitous Intent: Junior Member
Masters of Evil: Auxiliary Member
Legion of Doom: Affiliate, July '10 Villain of the Month
Evil League of Evil: Applicant
Republican Party: Council of Elders